Grand Parenting Part IV - Where have I been? #TakethatRettSyndrome #Rettsyndrome

Being a grandparent is one of the most important tasks in life.  Is it a job? Maybe. A task? Maybe - maybe not.  Is it a way of life?  Definitely!  Whether you are destined to have one, two, three grandchildren or more each one is special and unique and has one thing in common.  They are all part of you.  If you are involved in your grandchild's life you will be admired, looked up to, and expected to be a superhero 24/7.  Expect the unexpected, the midnight wake up calls, the good, the bad, and certainly some ugly.  Of all the experiences you will encounter as a grandparent nothing can prepare you totally for every issue, scenario, or problem.  Love and consistency will get you through it all.  You may not be the richest, the most generous monetarily, but with love, guidance, and trepidation you can be that superhero.

Where have I been?  Really, I have posted nothing to this blog for some time but I cannot be concerned about it [lack of new content].  Priorities, responsibilities, being a superhero takes up your resources and drains your energy.  This is my story of my only granddaughter who was born September 5th, 2014.  Since then my wife, daughter, and son-in-law have embarked on a journey.

An odyssey  began before it was known, an emergency happened before we saw it, a child was born into so much love that within a constant battle of life and despair a young child flourishes against horrific odds.  What the heck am I talking about you may ask?  I am talking about a child born with Rett Syndrome. A child I love and adore.  Not any more or any less than my other grandchildren.  But, meeting the demands of care necessary to raise a Rett Princess is daunting, exhausting, heart breaking, and wonderfully bittersweet.  Her name is Maddie Rae.  She is a Rett Princess!

Rett Syndrome is a neurological disease whose etiology is a duplication, deletion, or mutation of the MECP2 gene on the X Chromosome.  It is a terrible disorder and is described as a cruel and debilitating disease.  At birth, girls seem normal and progress normally for 1-2 years.  Then, something goes wrong. Growth and development start to regress. Milestones start  being missed. She loses whatever vocabulary she has developed.  Feeding herself finger food becomes an impossible task.  She becomes reclusive, despondent, aloof, and shy's away from groups and siblings.  What is happening?  Why is this happening?  Will this go away?

The journey has begun but you don't know it.  Does the word dumbfounded come to mind. There is a virtual map to follow but it looks like a spaghetti drawing.  You need answers.  You need someone to fix this now!  Your little one is 3 years old now, can't do things she did when she was 1 year old.  Speech is gone.  Blank stares, illness such as vomiting, fevers, seizures are a weekly obstacle robbing you of energy, time and happiness. Facial dystonia looks cute but why is she making those faces and weird gestures?  Welcome to our world.  A world turned upside down.  Hospital visits for any normal child might be 1-2 before they are 18 years old.  A Rett Princess spends 5 - 8 weeks per year in the hospital.

Little Maddie Rae has a horribly debilitating disease that robs her of a normal life, her speech, and normal body function. It's a struggle.  Maddie is our Rett Princess but she can be yours too.  She is the face of Rett Syndrome.   Adorable and effortlessly cute as described by a family doctor friend.  Maddie is one of  15,000 children born with Rett Syndrome.  A disease that will continue to debilitate her and affect her every bodily function with abnormal ramifications.

Here is a synopsis of what Maddie has gone through since birth.  As a baby of 6 months of age Maddie appeared "normal" and appeared to grow and mature normally. At 1 year of age she started to develop speech, was bright, responded appropriately socially, but had difficulty standing and would much rather crawl than try to stand on two feet.  At age 18 months, Maddie could stand in place, but walking was difficult for even a few steps.  Her vocabulary consisted of the words baby, help, dada, momma, "brudda", and Pizza! among 15 other words she used consistently.  At age 2 Maddie still had difficulty walking, was unsteady all the time and still would rather crawl.  Physical Therapy was started to help with this "delay" as her pediatrician called it.  Unaware of any of the signs that were so obvious her pediatrician was clueless.  Hence, Maddie went to a new pediatrician.  Maddie's condition worsened rapidly.  Words she spoke were now gone.  Her facial dystonia was prominent.  Her walking improved but she still could not get up without help.  She started to get ill suddenly.  Vomiting, fevers, shaking, and blackouts were all increasing with frequency and severity.  We all wanted answers and fast.  What was going on with our little angel.

After a few emergency clinic visits it was discovered her serum bicarbonate level was getting critically low.  Hospital visits were a necessity and frequent to get her CO2 back in normal range.  Still no answers though.  The local fire department was asking "Why are you calling us"?  Maddie had been inside an ambulance more times than we could count on one hand already.  Maddie was labeled as having Autism-Spectrum Disorder.  My wife and daughter were rapidly gaining knowledge and reading everything they could on the subject.  But my wife knew that was not the total picture. That was not everything?  My wife was correct.  Being a Pediatric-Neonatal Nurse she knew that was not the total complete picture.  Something was just not right.  We did not know it but Maddie was in full blown regression - losing every skill she developed before she was two years old.

Maddie at Scottish Rite Childrens Healthcare of Atlanta

Maddie was diagnosed on January 5, 2017.  She was hospitalized that week with critical blood carbon dioxide, vomiting, fever, and the unknown "something is wrong".  With observation, diagnostic neurological testing, and the brilliance of renowned  Neurologist Dr. Daniel Tarquinio, Maddie was diagnosed with Rett Syndrome. Something else to add to her already previous diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Finally, someone figured it out.  But, how did this happen?  Where do we go from here. What is it?  Will she get better?  Chromosomal testing ensued which cost thousands of dollars only to reveal where on the X chromosome the defect occurred. Unfortunately, Maddie's defect usually renders 60% of girls with no ability to walk among other serious issues.

2017 seems like a blur for my wife, my daughter, son-in-law and me.  Multiple hospital visits with breaks in between at home.  We got to know every inch of Children's Healthcare Of Atlanta Scottish Rite Hospital, including the lobby gift shop, the cafeteria schedule, and developed favorite parking spaces. Having a pre-packed overnight bag saved time during the emergencies.  Multiple pharmaceuticals were prescribed, physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and various doctor visits filled up the weekly calendar.  With no end in sight we pressed on. My wife and daughter sought every piece of information on Rett Syndrome they could get their hands on.  By June 2017 Maddie appeared to be coming out of her "Regression".  She was interactive, wanting to be with other children and be the center of attention.  She was walking but still had difficulty getting up if she fell.  Maddie was losing weight though and was falling off the growth chart.  Surgery was performed to place a feeding tube on her stomach; what is called a "Mic-key Button". Being her second of three surgeries it still was nerve racking. Her first was to place tubes in her ears but that is common for many children.

With fabulous medical care, Maddie started to flourish. Every night Maddie was fed through her Mic-Key button a formula called Nourish by Functional Formularies Functionalformularies.  She gained ten pounds in weight and 5 inches in height by the beginning of 2018.  Maddie seemed to stabilize.  With the holidays behind us now a new problem developed but not related to Rett Syndrome.  Maddie's tonsils were huge and she was having problems swallowing food.  Back for surgery to have her tonsils removed during the spring of 2018.  It seemed like we were on auto-pilot not knowing where we were headed but we had to be ready for anything.

Now in Summer 2018 a new problem started. Maddie was having trouble controlling her blood glucose. Erratic was the word to describe her blood sugar.  Glucose up high, then crashing an hour later, seizures followed, vomiting, it was getting scary again.  After another hospital visit Maddie was diagnosed with Ketotic Hypoglycemia. Basically, she has very minimal glycogen liver storage so when her glucose goes low she has no storage to get glucose from like a normal person does. With no glycogen to pull from fat is broken down producing ketones and acidic blood. Things were spiraling out of control now.  A scary test was performed under supervision of several endocrinologists, pediatricians, and numerous nurses. Force her blood sugar to crash, take blood samples, administer glucagon, and monitor blood sugar for an hour.   The test was a success.  She crashed alright! Then she had seizures.  Glucose was given, then slowly some food, later some dinner, and discharged the next day.  For on-going maintenance Maddie must have water and carbohydrate every two hours either by mouth or via tube directly in to her stomach.

Maddie has a disease that has rendered her with inability to speak, limited use of her hands, dystonia, mid-line repetitive hand movements, dysautonomia, seizures, and digestive problems. Maddie is a special little girl.  Her daily struggles inspire all who meet and learn about her. She is an amazing little girl, babyish in some ways, cute, adorable, witty, funny, and smart.  She cannot verbalize but she does communicate. At age 4 she has developed an expert sense of body language and can read people and communicate in non-verbal capacities far beyond the expectations of a 4 year old.  Her Grandmother Leslie is her right hand man.  "Gramma" knows when Maddie is sad, hungry, thirsty, bored, in need of attention, needs medication, and knows when she is ill as well. Maddie's Grandmother and Mother are her life-line.  Leslie is a member of the RettSyndrome.org Family Advisory Panel.

Grandma Leslie and Maddie

Are things better now? Yes very much so. Maddie attends school daily and has a life of independence for herself.  She rides her bus early in the morning and again late in the afternoon.  She loves school, family, going to church, meeting new people, and accomplishing new activities.  She rides a horse for therapy (Hippotherapy) .  She does swim therapy.  Maddie even attends martial art classes with 2-3 blackbelts as instructors at Tonchu Martial Arts Dacula GA . She is a social ambassador and my hero. She is a Rett Princess whose reign will never end.  At only 4 she has impacted our lives greatly and enriched us with love, understanding, and a soft heart.  The pictures below show Maddie in her various activities as a Rett Princess.  I always tell people "No one wrangles the Princess".  "She is cute - but don't hold it against her".

Maddie Riding her Fav Jude

Maddie riding Joker at hippotherapy

Maddie with Master Miron at Karate - Tonchu

Maddie is a Princess.  She is a Rett Princess! She is poised, beautiful, smart, and effortlessly cute.  She can be your Princess too.  Follow Miss Maddie on facebook for inspirational stories and her cute antics posted everyday by her Mother Jessica. Maddie Rae of Sunshine
If you can donate to Rett Syndrome research to help fund a cure for this horrible disease please do so to any of the following links:
Rettsyndrome.org
Rett Sysndrome Research Trust
Maddies's neurologist said that 10 years ago he thought there would never be a cure for Rett Syndrome.  Now he thinks there will be a cure and hopes it will come soon to help Maddie before damage to her young body is irreversible.

Maddie is an amazing child.  Her struggles from hour to hour and her daily survival astonish me to no end.  She maintains a daily schedule that is tough by adult standards; school, therapies, after school therapy, doctor visits, meals, entertainment, and lots of love.  The day Maddie was born my heart was touched.  My first granddaughter.  Later my heart was broken.  I so wanted to build her a doll house for Christmas.  She can't play with it.  I wanted to bake cookies with her and have afternoon tea?  She cannot hold a cup or exert purposeful hand movements.  Maddie cannot say I love you with words but she does with her speech generating device and with her eyes.  She can put her arm on my shoulder when I hold her in my arms.  That is so comforting and loving.  She is bubbly and happy most of the time. She loves Godiva chocolate, cookies, and Omaha Steaks.  Fortunately, she loves her Grandparents, Mother, Father and big Brother.

Scott R. Mayorga A.A.S., BS MT(ASCP)H CLS

Bullycide - The Bullying Continues In Our Schools

 BULLYCIDE - The Bullying Continues

Bullycide is a term that describes the tragic taking of ones own life as a result of bullying.  Some of my readers can remember from August 2013 I wrote a post about one such Bullycide that occurred in the Greenwich CT Public Schools system.  A young boy killed himself at the commencement of school after summer break.  This was a tragic case of a student suffering incessant long term bullying.  This suffering student telegraphed his fears to fellow students, school officials, and even posted on facebook his music request for his impending funeral.  Bullying in our schools and workplaces is a big problem.  The insidious act of bullying is a more widespread and serious problem than most parents realize.  School districts and school boards have a vested interest in keeping reports of in-school bullying close to the vest and will cover for and protect not only the victim but also perpetrators under the guise of "protecting the student".  This results in gross under-reporting of incidents on campus.  Make no mistake about it - Bullying continues on school campuses across the country as sure as these campuses of rampant torture are awarding teachers as "Teacher of the Year".

According to bullyingstatistics.org, for year 2010, 30% of students 6th through 10th grades experience bullying as either a victim or bully.  That is 1 out of 3 students exposed first person to bullying.  I myself was victim to physical bullying as a young boy in middle school.  No wonder we have Police officers dedicated to school campuses.  Bullying in schools is such a large problem as many as 70% of students in public schools acknowledge that bullying is an ongoing problem.  As kids get older and progress to college bullying also follows them their in the form of hazing rituals whereby serious injury and death are common conclusions to hazing activities.  Something needs to be done.  Suicide is the leading cause of death amongst children under 14 years of age. With the massive influx of children from neighboring Mexico and South American countries the epidemic of bullying in our country is only going to get worse and the inherent yearn for school officials and main stream media to hide such bullying incidents is only going to get stronger. 

Become Informed
What can we do as parents and grand parents of children school age and older?
Look up information on bullying.  Learn what forms and types of activities that occur on campus and off which constitute bullying.
Even subtle name calling which continues for long periods is harmful.
Gather  as much info as possible on the school district you are concerned with in respect to incidents on campus.
Attend school board meetings, ask questions, request documentation and statistics on bully cases, raise issues, and hold school board officials accountable for issues happening on school property.

Protect Your Child and Grandchildren
If you ask school officials what you can do to protect your child against bullying you will get weak responses and diversion from reality.  Don't bother asking.  You will be labeled a troublemaker.  School literature such as student and parent handbooks will give the impression that all is well, your child is safe, and officials are trained and equipped to handle bullying cases effectively.  That is a half true pile of bunk.  School officials are trained more on damage control than protecting little Jane or John while in their charge.  So, what can you do?  Take heed of these guidelines that are common sense, empowering, and self supporting of your child taking an active role in self protection rather than simply encouraging your child to report what they see and feel.

Talk to your child about bullying and the different forms of such behavior.
Talk to your child about protecting ones self and not to rely on school officials to protect them.
Learn about situational awareness yourself so you can teach your child.  No one else is going to teach this to them.
Practice makes perfect.  Practice through drills of demonstrating bully tactics with your child.  Have your child act both the bully and the victim.  This includes physical contact as well as verbal and electronic bullying.  If you are not capable of the physical training get your child enrolled in a practical self defense training course.  See below on how to evaluate a self defense, Karate type school for your child that will teach reality based skills.
Train your child to be resourceful with materials that can be used in a self defense situation if necessary.
Teach flight or fight response.  It's ok to run.  Sometimes that is not an option.
Equip your child for school.  You can't send little Billy to school with a club, brass knuckles, or a gun.  You can send him or her with non-lethal practical tools to protect and instill confidence.  See below my list of items every child should have on them or in their back pack.
Most importantly teach your child about what to do if bullying happens to them.  What to do if they have no choice but too physically defend themselves against an attacker.  Most important is to tell your child you are their protector and advocate.  No matter what the circumstance or predicament they are to say nothing to anyone until you join them at the school.  Nothing means nothing beyond Name and your contact number.  No details, no names, no lies. Nothing.

Lets say you prepare your child and you did it well.  Bullying has occurred and your child has witnessed it or is the victim.  Your child had no option but to use self defense against an attacker and felt his or her life was in danger.  Training really paid off.  Not only did your child defend but now the attacker has serious injury or worse had to be taken off campus in an ambulance.  It is imperative that your child clam up.  At that point Police involvement is a necessity.  So will legal representation for you and your child. Clam up, shut up, and keep quiet until Mommy or Daddy get there or your attorney arrives whether at the principles office or heaven forbid Police Station.  Prepare your child for the worst.  As a parent, walk you child off campus post incident if possible.  Say nothing if possible or at minimum state your name, relationship to the [your]child, and your child was fearful of "serious bodily harm".  If there is police presence and leaving is not an option everyone clam up until you can lawyer-up.

Here is my list of items you can equip your student with to protect and command self confidence.

• A pocket Spy pen; USB memory with camera.  The police wear body cameras.  Why not your child. Remember no inappropriate use and only for capturing evidence of bullying, bad behavior, or attacks.

• Keys on a key ring with at least three keys.  One key in-between each finger.  Johnny can't have brass knuckles but a fist full of keys is almost as good.

• A good solid metal pen.  You can't equip a knife in your child's bag but a good sturdy steel cased pen is almost as good.  Learn and teach various strike points to your child for such an improvised weapon.

• A strong draw string bag.  One that can hold some money-coins, keys, or some other heavy and dense object or improvised with items such as a rock, can of soda, bottle of water, etc.  This can be swung at an attacker with devastating results.  Attach the bag to a belt from around the waste, swing with great velocity, and an attacker is going down quick.

• How about a small bottle of artist ink, the darker the better.  The bottle can be opened and splashed on an attacker even in the dark.  This will positively identify the bully attacker or even teacher with the roaming hands of a pervert.

• How about a loud audible personal alarm.  These 70+ decibel screamers are an excellent distraction.

These are all legal, non threatening, non-violent passive tools of protection your child can carry on their person.  However you can train you child to use what is available within their reach as a weapon or distraction as well.  A broom handle, dust pan, chair, lunch box,  some hard dense object, or anything that can be implemented as a self defense weapon.  Schools are full of safety equipment that can be used as a last ditch effort to defend, distract, or deflect an attacker.  Fire extinguishers are excellent pieces of equipment.  Especially the dry chemical types can blast an air depriving blast of powder in an attackers face.  Fire alarm pulls can be a great distraction as well in a dire circumstance.  When your daughters or sons life depends on quick action all is fare.  Teach them to use what is available and don't be a victim.  That is why school buses particularly scare me.  With a distracted driver struggling to keep 4 tons of metal in control, some bully's surround your child, and then start the pummeling.  The school bus environment is a very risky place for an unprepared child to be in.

The School District of Shame and Awards
So what about the School District in Greenwich CT almost 2 years after a student was tortured to death in classrooms and hallways?  Since my post in August 2013, the school district has posted all school board meeting Minutes and is up to date.  After a few mentions in school board meeting minutes containing some empty promises and pep-talk memos to school staff and concerned parents does anyone think the kids are any safer than before this terrible tragedy took place in 2013?  You would think that a school district that lost a child to bullying would take active measures to get staff training, document monitoring of bully activities on school property, and report progress in School Board Meeting minutes.  Well think again.  No such activity commenced after this poor child was tortured to death in the hallways and classrooms.  Since the burial of that poor student in Aug 2013, nearly 14 teachers in that child's school district have been congratulated as Teacher of the Year.  You can rest assured that the teachers are covering for themselves and are getting their pay raises.  They could not care less about the bully crimes on-going in the school.

More and more there are stories on mainstream news mediums about teachers abusing trust granted to them and perpetrating horrible crimes of abuse such as molestation, cruelty, and rape.  These are some of the most dangerous bully's with access to our children.  Teachers having "affairs" and resultant pregnancies with students is sick.  School districts prepare students for this insidious festering atrocity by assigning reading lessons containing sexually explicit stories of rape, incest, homosexuality, and even bestiality.  All under the guise of a nurturing learning environment.  Take a gander at little Johnnie's reading list.  Then go to open school night and orate the worst sexually explicit dialogue from the reading list, article, or distributed pamphlet.  Likely, you would be threatened with prosecution for lewd behavior if you did that in the kids play area of your local fast food restaurant.  Why is it acceptable for your child to read that material while alone but if read out loud at a school board meeting  it is not.  Schools have become sewers containing some of the worst behavior of human kind.  Protect your child.  Prepare your child.  Prepare yourself.

Martial Arts Training
Get your child some professional training in self defense techniques with a practical martial arts school.  Navigating the multitudes of schools available practically on every street corner can be an arduous task.  When selecting a school for your child keep in mind the purpose for that school and your child.  Not babysitting, not someplace to go after school until you get off work, not a club, and definitely not a school boasting a huge pile of trophies in the front window.  Ask friends, neighbors, acquaintances about schools in the area and if their kids go to those schools.  Inquire about the schools philosophy, instructors, structured curriculum, and training activities before even asking about cost.  Run a background check on the instructor(s) before enrolling your child.  Here are some things to look for when deciding on a martial arts school.

1. Does training occur always with bare feet?  This is a big mistake.  In the "Real world" bare feat self defense only happens at the beach or pool.  Training with street shoes, school shoes, sneakers is imperative, real world, and practical.
2. Is training always in the classroom?  Dojo?  Again real world is not the Dojo.  Training in a public park, on different surfaces, and close quarters is ideal.  Remember the school bus scenario?
3. Is situational awareness taught along with the fighting disciplines?  This is incredibly important.  Knowing your surroundings and risks can be half the battle of keeping one safe.
4. You want a well rounded training for your child and one that will prepare for real life situations.  Bringing home a bunch of trophies because your kid is quicker than a matched opponent at slapping an arm or leg is not going to protect anything.

Be safe my friends.  

The Science of Bully Management in a School District; F- What a failure!

Bullying is a serious issue 

 Days after Suicide allegations arise about school district ignoring warning signs of bullying abuse!

Like it or not, realize it or not, bullying behavior is everywhere.  There is bullying in the workplace, bullying in College, and bullying in primary and secondary education.  Have you ever visited a nursing home? You will find bullying there too!  Nursing home residents may not recognize family members or be able to tell you what is on the dinner plate in front of them but rest assured when you go home they go on a bullying mission or get bullied by others and get hurt. Slips and falls, scrapes and bruises, minor skirmishes? Yeah right.  I know because I have been there, seen it, and well it is not pretty.

Bullying in the workplace is a high stakes game though  

 

The stakes are high because listen we are all adults here - adults play for keeps.  Sooner or later the habitual workplace bully is going to wind up in a dumpster because most adults don't stand for that kind of behavior.  Every year stories fill the pages of newspapers of someone murdered, left for dead, and everyone is clueless as to why such a thing would happen.  Ever think that the "Victim" was a victim of retribution?  Goin' Postal is the term for a workplace incident of violence but not like the Dr. Nidal Hasan kind of violence.  I mean the guy who has been pushed so far he doesn't care who is in the way - the goal is to get the bully target.  If the bully steals your lolli-pop you go get another pop.  When the bully steals your pay raise, bonus, vacation, benefit, etc, it can get real ugly real fast.

It is a sad reality that young people can viciously and relentlessly bully schoolmates till a grievous end.  So hence we have another story of a child suffering at the hands of bully(s) until a disastrous end of the story is reached.  A suicide committed by a young person in such a despairing condition it is hard to realize the anguish this child must have endured to inflict such a retribution on ones self just to rid oneself of the bully(s).  I am talking about the case of a 15 year old student attending school at Greenwich High School who committed suicide after attending first day of school post summer vacation.  How sad...   Of course, school district officials  have no idea how such a thing could happen.  They are just tickled pink the bullied student did not neutralize the bully permanently on school property.  They are head scratching and searching desperately for answers so this will not happen to any of the other students.  "How could this happen?"  "What can we do to prevent in the future?"  Let me tell you from experience how this can happen.  I am not trying to tell anyone here that I have cornered the market of bully victimization, No- by no stretch of imagination.  I can give first person account of bully activity in middle school, continued to high school, and then again in the workplace.

School Bullying is not a secret 

 

School bullying is not as secretive as school officials make it sound that they had no idea little Johnny was being bullied, or little Jane has been having her lunch money stolen by the same kid day after day after day.  The big kid in the class copying test work in class from other smaller meek students. Being manipulated by another person in any shape or fashion is bullying. Some bullying is often overlooked as Kids just getting along and settling into social network.  Situations such as kids having books knocked out of their hands, getting locked in your own locker, embarrassment, ridicule, coercion and theft by taking.  These situations are often overlooked by school officials, staff, and teachers which are treated as non-incidents of social behavior.  "The kids just have to learn to get along".  Well, kids are not the same now as when I was in their bullied shoes way back when.  Social media, electro-magnetic communication devices (Cell-Phones), and computers bring a large world down to a smaller size.

Unfortunately, these mediums also make it easier for the bully to become even more insidious, more aggressive, and even more dangerous.  There have been cases recently where parents of students have bullied other students at the same school by way of twitter, facebook, and other social media platforms.  When this happens and nothing is done, the victim is helplessly in a downward spiral of despair, depression, and self blame.  The child can think that there is something inherent in their nature, their disposition, or personality that warrants bully(s) to bully them.  When there is no resolution, no relief, no improvement in condition, drastic measures are taken.  In this case, there was social media evidence that something was wrong.  There was even warning that something was going to happen.  Something did happen.  The bully won.  The victim lost...but did he?  Maybe he is now in a far better place than a school building full of adults and school mates that turn a blind eye to see what the bully is doing today and chuckle at what the bully has just perpetrated.  Teachers looking the other way with self reflection "I wish these kids would just get along - maybe by next week they will be texting each other?"  Stupidity!  A oozing festering wound of  systemic mis-management, malfeasance, and incompetence leads to the death of so many of our children mandated to attend school districts that harm and permanently affect young people for life.  Some resources indicate that up to 75% of students in public schools witness bullying.  20% of students report bullying incidents or admit they have bullied others.  That is a lot of bullying going on.

 

Yes - I am talking about the Public School System in this country

We are not teaching young people how to be self assertive, smart, self reliant, productive adults in public schools.  No - we are teaching them tricks like how to get away with bad behavior, survival of the fittest,  and kill or be killed.  There is no discipline anymore.  Years ago we were ashamed to get into trouble.  Now, parents teach their kids that they can do whatever they want, not get in trouble, and the school officials reinforce that social pathology.  The hallways of these schools are retched battlefields full of rogue individuals equivalent to Genghis Khan, renegades pillaging and raping the innocence from our children.  It cannot be stopped.  Not with present School Administration techniques in place to help administrators manage a system out of control, spending gobs of money, completing satisfaction surveys to prove good is happening overall for the "average" student in attendance.

What a bunch of malarkey!  Here is a short little touching school story.  I had my head punched so hard one day in middle school I dropped my books and fell helplessly to the floor only to look up and see a teacher walking away that was just walking toward me a moment ago.  This bastard teacher was actually running from me after I was assaulted!  I guess he was on his way to lunch and could not be bothered.  I did have one good day in two years of middle school though.  Instead of a teacher coming to my aid, a fellow student that I knew of just an acquaintance in class, stood up after I was slapped in the back of my head by the bully [same one all the time]; and then proceeded to pick the bully up and throw him over some desks.  He used to lift weights and could bench press a small car! Gee-Whiz the teacher did something then!  He dragged my hero down to the principles office for "causing a disturbance" in class.


This is a tragic story about a young man bullied to the point of no help, no return, total despair, and desperation. It is not about me.  But what disgusts me as well is the stance of the school officials where this student attended school.  "We don't know how this could have happened"?  We are deeply concerned for the student body and will take steps to make sure this does not happen to any other students?"  Well let me tell you something about this school district...

• Student body = 8,800 students total

• 2013-2014 budget = $142 million up 2% from 2012-2013 budget

• Psychologists are assigned to each school building

• A RISE (Racial Imbalance) task force is in place because minority students are greater than 25% of student population

• A Harris Survey process costing $42,000 per year is administered to ascertain student, faculty, parent, and taxpayer satisfaction with the school district

• For the April 2012 poll  - Only 33% of parents completed the survey

• Only 66% of teachers completed the survey

• 94% of grade 3-5 students  completed the survey

• 86% of grade 6-12 students completed the survey

• Average Satisfaction of the school district was -2.57% less than Harris Benchmark

• The School District website was last updated with a general school news report on 7/18/2008

• On April 13, 2013 an executive school board meeting was conducted with presence of the Chief and a Sergeant from the Greenwich Police Department

If I was a resident living in Greenwich Connecticut I would be pissed!  I don't live there and I am still pissed.  That school district spends over $16,000 per student and can't figure out that the kids are so miserable they [students] are destroying themselves literally.  A school staff so hell bent on making sure kids don't draw a picture of a gun on paper, and carry a key chain to school, that they don't pay attention to what the hell is going on down the hall.  Oh ok, the staff can't keep a full set of eyes on the playground activities but what about that social media.  This poor kid was miserable for years.  Every school year picked on, bullied, suffering immeasurable anguish and nobody knew a thing?  The student posted on social media a final music request for his impending funeral service.  This is not just an aberration of the poor school district of Greenwich Public School.  How terrible, the school district was caught up in such a tragedy.

What bunk!  It is school districts that foster an environment of hostility, aggression, and neglectful behavior amongst students so much so that kids are driven to extreme emotional distress day after day.  Students these days have to protect themselves from teachers; the abuse, the groping, the sexual advances.  And society tolerates this.  These school officials see these kids walking the halls, head down, emotional distress on their faces day after day and do nothing.  These are kids for goodness sake.  When I was bullied I not only wanted to hurt the bully bad I also wanted to kick that teacher in the groin for running away from me.  What did that teach me?  Don't rely and you can't rely on institutions in general to look out for your safety and well being even though the hogwash in worthless charters says the safety of students, the well being, and the supportive environment of the school is most important.  I want to puke.  So what advice do I have with this rant?

 

 Teach Your Child Not To Be Be A Victim

• Teach your children they have to rely on you and themselves for their own safety

• Get your children trained to protect themselves with nothing more than their hands and feet

• Teach your children to use those skills judiciously and efficiently and say nothing afterward 

• Instruct your children to Say Nothing!  That will force an overzealous school official to call you promptly when there is trouble and little Johnny or Janet clams up.

• Teach your children to stand up for themselves and to be resourceful in different situations

• Lets face it the school is a lions den of danger; don't kid yourself.

• A resourceful kid, confident, respectful, and able to protect himself or herself from the pint sized bully or the molesting teacher, all the same.  Protect self, inflict damage where necessary, clam up until Mommy or Daddy arrive.
• Most of all teach your children to be respectful.  Even when there is trouble headed their way.  Teach them to be calm, act swiftly, and again say nothing post trauma.
• Run practice drills with your children, repetition will reinforce necessary action and taper response to protect only and not permanently injure.  Yes this is serious stuff.  Treat it like such.
• Seek professional training of you can afford it.
• Maintain a relationship with a good attorney, you may need that as well.

The poor student who committed suicide telegraphed his intentions days before he took his own life. He communicated his anguish thoroughly that someone - Anyone should have stepped in and intervened.  Life is precious.  The innocence of a child can never be returned whole after being devastated by school based violence, coercion, bullying, and the insidious heinous  act of child abuse at the hands of school officials, teachers, and parents.

Take care of your children.  Don't be fooled by school officials telling you the school is safe.  Nothing could be more contrary from the truth.

Scott R. Mayorga  A.A.S. BS MT(ASCP)H CLS

What's Going On

The medical field is full of heart ache and tragedy.  If you work in a busy hospital or trauma center you will encounter the emotional distress of the  face to face interaction with grave illness, terminal sickness, trauma, and the like on a weekly basis.  Medical professionals all have a common core belief system; Provide the best health care possible no matter the local, circumstances, or situation at hand.

Even though, my time at St. Francis Hospital in Port Washington NY was short, it was a roller coaster of activity and emotion.  As my first professional employment as a certified Medical Technologist,
B.S.MT (ASCP), there were many acts of drama the helped to shape my professional character.  It was a winter night that I remember vividly.

A relatively young patient was admitted to the Heart Center and he was uncharacteristic from the norm for St. Francis.  Most patients were older 50+ with some sort of cardiac malady requiring open heart surgery by one of the accomplished thoracic surgeons.  This guy was different.  He was pushing mid-30's, thin, dark hair, and apparently sicker than his circumstance presented laying in a bed at a cardiac specialty hospital.  This poor slob not only had heart trouble but had viral trouble as well.  He was admitted in the afternoon and kind of was just there waiting around but in a bed.  I was called in early during the mid-evening shift to help out for some short staffing. My first duty upon arriving to the lab was to draw this man's blood to prepare transfusion cross-match testing.  He was destined for the knife the next day.

Arriving at his room, I had no idea what to expect from this unlikely candidate.  After introduction of who I was and my purpose, he laid out the ground rules.  He told me I must wear gloves to draw his blood.  I replied that I always do and it is required for all patients.  He then pulled up the half sleeve of his hospital gown to show me the marks on his arm; track marks.  He said, "I am HIV positive and who knows what else I have - You need to be careful!"  During the phlebotomy, he told me his brief story of drug abuse and how it has now ruined his heart valves.  His surgery for the next morning was to replace his heart valves.  I said good night and assured him he was in good hands with the best surgeons around anywhere.  He smiled and said good night.  Back in the lab I set up his bloodbank testing; 8 units of whole blood.

The next night I was scheduled for night shift, arriving just prior to 11 PM at the hospital.  It was a crisp cold New York night with a slight breeze.  Pulling into the parking lot in front of the hospital I saw a familiar sight; the helipad lights were on meaning eminent arrival or I just missed a departure of a medivac chopper.  I parked and walked toward the building.  In the distance I could hear the whisper of an arriving chopper coming closer so I stood my ground to watch the arrival.  Descending quickly out of the dark sky was not the normal medivac chopper - it was a Nassau County Police chopper circling overhead once then diving in for a very quick touchdown.  Emerging from the cockpit was a pilot dressed in all black helmet to toe.  Quickly, rushing around the front of the chopper he opened the side door of the cab and pulled a white box with the all familiar red cross icon.  A blood shipment?  At 11 PM?  Transported by Police Chopper?  Something big was going down.  As quick as he entered the building the pilot returned to his running chopper blades a spinning, Jet-A fumes and all.  Within seconds the chopper was leaving the ground and headed into the darkness.  I knew then my night was going to be bad...even without the starting helipad drama this was going to be a solo night working the shift by myself.

Arriving at the lab I quickly took report and learned what was so big a deal this evening.  The patient who was the drug abuser had his surgery that afternoon and his condition was not good.  All 8 units I set up the night before were transfused, 6 more were set up during day shift of which he was given 4; two were left on the shelf.  The Police chopper just brought an additional 8 units of his blood type which was all that Long Island Blood Services would relinquish to St Francis for the day.  Drama was thick in the lab, lots of blood work for this patient and other patients who were post-op that day.  The drama was interrupted by the bloodbank phone ringing.  It was the BB supervisor.  He wanted report about what the chopper brought in and what was requested by the surgeon.  I said 8 received from the police chopper, 10 ordered by surgeon, 2 units still on shelf.  The supervisor told me set up all 8 - hopefully they will not need them.  He said I'll be in early before 6 AM.

It was not long into the shift when an ICU nurse arrived at the lab in hurried fashion requesting the two units on the shelf.  I had already started the cross-match process for 4 of the 8 units just delivered.  She said the patient is not doing well, he is bleeding, we need FFP and CRYO, and when can more units be ready?  I said you can have anything you want right now -  uncross-matched; just complete the form.  She said they are not ready for that yet - but hurry Please!  I started the cross-match on the additional last 4 units.  Now I had two sets of 4 units in various stages of the cross-match testing.  Just prior to the AHG phase spin what happened next I will never forget.  A small radio in the blood bank started playing Marvin Gay, "Whats Going On".  Just about 1 minute 40 seconds into that 4 minute song the ICU nurse returned to BloodBank.  There I was sitting in front of 8 whole blood units almost ready to sign them out for her.  She was not hurried, she was calm, she was distressed.  She came in and said "relax - he did not make it".  That is all she said.  She turned and walked away.  I sat stunned for a minute.  I looked at the scenery.  The lab, the bench full of whole blood units, the centrifuge spinning, the freezer full of FFP and CRYO, the two blood washers standing at attention against the wall.  That was it.  The song was ending.  Now just quiet.  Apparently there was some sort of technical difficulty with the station the radio was tuned to because there was radio silence for a moment.  The patient expired, the drama was over.  I placed the units of whole blood back in the refrigerator.  I left the bench to get a cup of much needed coffee.

Over the brew, I thought...what is going on?  A man destroys his body with drugs, another man tries to sew him back together.  Humpty-Dumpty's men and women could not put this man back together as whole.  The end.  I drew this patients blood less than 36 hours previous.  He would soon be occupying the morgue just steps away from me now.  Fortunately, there was plenty of room "At The Inn" tonight.

Life is fragile.  Take care of all around you.  Take care of your pets. Take care of yourself.
Good day my friends.